A Tale of One and Another... 
A fictional meeting between the two Nick Caves

A discussion with a friend (a musician and fellow Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds fan) led me to write this piece. I now realize that the lines are too long for a song and it's probably more a poem of sorts. It's probably not that great but I certainly had great fun writing it and was surprised by how easy it was to get down on paper... I certainly won't give up my day job but may try to do some more writing like this in future!
Surely I have digressed and it's back to writing up my research on the Blackheath School of Art...
Here goes...

A tale of one and another... (part 1 – The Tale of two Nicks)

I thought I was but unique, a kind of a freak...

Instead I discovered I shared a name with another

One could say he might have been a brother!!!

ARRRGGGGHHHHH!

No way, no way

If only I could stay at one with myself without another sharing a part of me...

If only I could, if only I could...

I have always been subject to visions

Something that has always cut through my mind like incisions...

I can sit and procrastinate with pen in hand.

Sometimes with or without the assistance of my band

A song will appear as if delivered to me by divine inspiration.

Thankfully this process is rarely one of exasperation.

No way, no way

If only I could stay at one with myself without another sharing a part of me...

If only I could, if only I could...

Previously in the mirror all I would see was a tall streak with a slick of black hair

Now I can surely say that I don’t care

As whenever I can catch a glimpse of myself there is always an element of him looking back at me

Don’t you see, can’t  you see that I just cannot let this be...

ARRRGGGGHHHHH!

No way, no way

If only I could stay at one with myself without another sharing a part of me...

If only I could, if only I could...

Statue, statue now I just can’t  look at you

I know now that all do is gaze downwards and introspectively at my shoe

My life was once full of colour and movement

But I fear that there will never be a denouement

ARRRGGGGHHHHH!

No way, no way

If only I could stay at one with myself without another sharing a part of me...

If only I could, if only I could...

I have often been asked what it’s  like to be ‘a bad seed'

But that kind of behaviour was never a part of my creed

It was only when I turned the radio on and heard Henry Lee

I realised that the king of the bad seeds had taken my name from me!

Hang on, hang on, it could never have been me...

Now don’t you see, can’t you see???

ARRRGGGGHHHHH!

No way, no way

If only I could stay at one with myself without another stealing a part of me...

If only I could, if only I could....

That’s when that dark shadow began to loom over me

Nothing could bridge the terror of nothingness stretching across the sea

Unbearable as ever and not even in any small way clever

This matter needed to come to a head one way or another

It was him not me that I needed to smother!

ARRRGGGGHHHHH! (Repeat)

No way, no way

If only I could stay at one with myself without another destroying a part of me...

If only I could, I know that I should remain just me.......

A tale of one and another (part 2 – The Meeting)

We always thought that there was never a chance we would meet randomly

That would most likely be an anomaly...

I went out in a blizzard to MOMA to see a Matisse show[1]

In retrospect I wish I never did go…

(alt verse in green)

We always thought that there was never a chance we would meet randomly

That would most likely be an anomaly...

I went out in a blizzard to the Met to see an El Greco show

In retrospect I wish I never did go…

I went to collect my ticket, and the attendant said…

‘Nick Cave, what do you mean, there’s no chance it’s you instead…

He’s being toasted at the opening of his exhibition as we speak,

There’s no way you can have that identity sit, you are indeed to me, a freak…’

I reached into my overcoat pockets to provide proof

Before I could identify myself the guttural shout came;

‘Security remove this man; there’s no way he’s telling the truth!’

I roared in the faces of those assailants come to restrain me;

‘I won’t go, hell no, I cannot be in no man’s shadow!

Let me see this other who taketh my name,

Surely there is no reason that we cannot cast our eyes upon each other,

Definitely, there should be no shame!’

Eventually the strong-armed men and women acquiesced,

Whilst my chief assailant whispered in quietly into my ear and confessed…

‘Who the hell do you think you are trying to impersonate such a fantastic artist as Mr Cave,

You should not dare think to interfere with his triumphal moment and crowd his enclave!’

I bellowed back; ‘Leave me in peace, I just came to see Matisse!

Once I meet the one who shares my name

I can definitely move on without shame.’

(alt verse)
Eventually the strong-armed men and women acquiesced,

Whilst my chief assailant whispered in quietly into my ear and confessed…

‘Who the hell do you think you are trying to impersonate such a fantastic artist as Mr Cave,

You should not dare think to interfere with his triumphal moment and crowd his enclave!’

I bellowed back; ‘There ain’t no need for prosecco, I just wanna see El Greco’!

Once I meet the one who shares my name

I can definitely move on without shame.’

They ushered me through a number of long galleries,

Each one full of their own mysteries and iconographies,

Swirling stars, melting clocks and tigers in long grass,

All blending into one great expressionist masterclass.

(alt verse)
They ushered me through a number of long galleries,

Each one full of their own mysteries and iconographies,

Holy families, Christs on crosses, many mournful figures facing their losses,

I wanted to stop and stare,

Yet it all blended into in one beautiful, terrifying nightmare.

Where were they taking me, I can no longer see

Not even anything ahead of me

I looked across at each of my escorts,

Looking at their expressionless faces trying to read their thoughts…

Eventually I find my voice to ask; ‘Where are we going?’

It started as a whisper but by the end I was bellowing,

The response was swift and harsh; ‘You’re going to meet your maker!’

In their eyes I was nothing but a faker…

I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth,

In no way was I an identity thief,

As we turned the corner there he was,

As elegant a man I have ever seen,

‘Mr Cave’, they gestured to the arty looking man…

‘This is the one who has been brazenly masquerading as you,

He must be one hell of a fan,

To travel here in a blizzard,

Wearing stylish, yet impractical shoes, made from the skin of a lizard!’

My mind quickly snapped into gear,

What was I going to do here?

I angrily pulled my arms free,

And moved towards him, he who shared his name with me,

Slow down, slow down, my mind was racing.

What should I do with this f***ed up situation I was facing…

I know what Stagger Lee would have done,

Not entirely sure that I still find that to be fun,

Should I grab his f***ing head and smash against the nearest wall?

It’s something that my brain does automatically recall,

I overwhelmingly felt suspicion that this would hasten my fall.

I looked him up and down,

Immediately I began to feel like a carnival clown,

There before me was the most angelic smile on his gentle face

At that moment it felt as if I was in the right place

His welcoming eyes met mine,

 And as he thrust his open right hand out towards my frame,

He said, ‘Pleased to meet you, I’m sure you know my name…’

---

[1] Other options include: ‘go to Rothko’, ‘Take a seat to see Magritte’, ‘I don’t want no censor I’m here to see Ensor’ or ‘Hell no, hell no, I wanna see Delvaux’. Alternatively at the Met to see El Greco – 'I turned to look at the El Greco only to see him holding a glass of prosecco’.